Accomplishment As Artwork

Let’s talk about win-win negotiating. Instead of trying to dominate the
other person and trick him into doing things he wouldn’t normally do, I
believe that you should work with the other person to work out your
problems and develop a solution with which both of you can win.

Your reaction to that may be, “Roger, you obviously don’t know much
about my industry. I live in a dog-eat-dog world. The people with whom I
negotiate don’t take any prisoners. They eat their young. There’s no
such thing as win-win in my industry. When I’m selling I’m obviously
trying to get the highest price I possibly can, and the buyer is obviously
trying to get the lowest possible price. When I’m buying the reverse is
true. How on Earth can we both win?”

So, let’s start out with the most important issue: What do we mean when
we say win-win? Does it really mean that both sides win? Or does it
mean that both sides lose equally so that it’s fair? What if each side
thinks that they won and the other side lostwould that be win-win?
Before you dismiss that possibility think about it more. What if you’re
selling something and leave the negotiation thinking, “I won. I would
have dropped the price even more if the other person had been a better
negotiator”? However the other person is thinking that she won and that
she would have paid more if you had been a better negotiator. So both
of you think that you won and the other person lost. Is that win-win? Yes,
I believe it is, as long as it’s a permanent feeling. As long as neither of
you wakes up tomorrow morning thinking, “Son of a gun, now I know
what he did to me. Wait until I see him again.”

That’s why I stress doing the things that service the perception that the
other side won, such as:

Don’t jump at the first offer.

Ask for more than you expect to get.

Flinch at the other side’s proposals.

Avoid confrontation.

Play Reluctant Buyer or Reluctant Seller.

Use the Vise gambit: You’ll have to do better than that.

Use Higher Authority and Good Guy/Bad Guy to make them think you’re
on their side.

Never offer to split the difference.

Set aside impasse issues.

Always ask for a trade-off and never make a concession without a
reciprocal concession.

Taper down your concessions.

Position the other side for easy acceptance.

Besides constantly servicing the perceptions that the other side won,
observe these four fundamental rules:

Rule one of win-win negotiating: Don’t narrow it down to just one issue

The first thing to learn is this: Don’t narrow the negotiation down to just
one issue. If, for example, you resolve all the other issues and the only
thing left to negotiate is price, somebody does have to win and
somebody does have to lose. As long as you keep more than one issue
on the table, you can always work trade-offs so that the other person
doesn’t mind conceding on price because you are able to offer
something in return.

Sometimes buyers try to treat your product as a commodity by saying,
“We buy this stuff by the ton. As long as it meets our specifications we
don’t mind who made it or where it comes from.” They are trying to treat
this as a one issue negotiation to persuade you that the only way you
can make a meaningful concession is to lower your price. When that’s
the case you should do everything possible to put other issues, such as
delivery, terms, packaging, and guarantees onto the table so that you
can use these items for trade-offs and get away from the perception that
this is a one-issue negotiation.

At a seminar, a commercial real estate sales person came up to me. He
was excited because he’d almost completed negotiating a contract for a
very large commercial building. “We’ve been working on it now for over
a year,” he said. “And we’ve almost got it resolved. In fact, we’ve
resolved everything except price, and we’re only $72,000 apart.” I
flinched because I knew that now that he’d narrowed it down to one
issue, then there had to be a winner and there had to be a loser.
However close they may be, they were probably heading for trouble.
In a one-issue negotiation, you should add other elements so that you
can trade them off later and appear to be making concessions.

So if you find yourself deadlocked with a one-issue negotiation, you
should try adding other issues into the mix. Fortunately, usually many
more elements than just the one main issue are important in
negotiations. The art of win-win negotiating is to piece together those
elements like putting together a jigsaw puzzle so that both people can
win. Rule one is, don’t narrow the negotiations down to just one issue.
While we may resolve impasses by finding a common ground on small
issues to keep the negotiation moving, you should never narrow it down
to one issue.

Rule two of win-win negotiating: People are not out for the same thing

Rule number two that makes you a win-win negotiator is the
understanding that people are not out for the same thing. We all have an
overriding tendency to assume that other people want what we want,
and because of this we believe that what’s important to us will be
important to them. But that’s not true.

The biggest trap into which neophyte negotiators fall is assuming that
price is the dominant issue in a negotiation. Many other elements, other
than price, that are important to the other person.

You must convince her of the quality of your product or service.
He needs to know that you will deliver on time.

She wants to know that you will give adequate management supervision
to their account. How flexible are you on payment terms?

Does your company have the financial strength to be a partner of theirs?

Do you have the support of a well-trained and motivated work force?

These all come into play, along with half-a-dozen other factors. When
you have satisfied the other person that you can meet all those
requirements, then, and only then, does price become a deciding factor.
So, the second key to win-win negotiating is this: Don’t assume that they
want what you want. Because if you do, you further make the
assumption that anything you do in the negotiations to help them get
what they want helps them and hurts you.

Win-win negotiating can come about only when you understand that
people don’t want the same things in the negotiation. So Power
Negotiating becomes not just a matter of getting what you want, but also
being concerned about the other person getting what he or she wants.
One of the most powerful thoughts you can have when you’re
negotiating with someone is not: “What can I get from them?” but “What
can I give them that won’t take away from my position?” Because when
you give people what they want, they will give you what you want in a
negotiation.

Rule three of win-win negotiating: Don’t try to get the last dollar off the
table

The third key to win-win negotiating is this: Don’t be too greedy. Don’t try
to get the last dollar off the table. You may feel that you triumphed, but
does that help you if the other person felt that you vanquished him? That
last dollar left on the table is a very expensive dollar to pick up. A man
who attended my seminar in Tucson told me that he was able to buy the
company that he owned because the other potential buyer made that
mistake. The other person had negotiated hard and pushed the seller to
the brink of frustration. As a final Nibble, the buyer said, “You are going
to put new tires on that pickup truck before you transfer title aren’t you?”

That straw broke the proverbial camel’s back. The owner reacted
angrily, refused to sell his company to him, and instead sold it to the
man at my seminar.

So, don’t try to get it all, but leave something on the table so that the
other person feels that she won also.

Rule four of win-win negotiating: Put something back on the table
The fourth key to win-win negotiating is this: Put something back on the
table when the negotiation is over. I don’t mean by telling them that
you’ll give them a discount over and above what they negotiated. I mean
do something more than you promised to do. Give them a little extra
service. Care about them a little more than you have to. Then you’ll find
that the little extra for which they didn’t have to negotiate means more to
them that everything for which they did have to negotiate.

Now let me recap what I believe about win-win negotiating:

People have different personality styles, and because of this, they
negotiate differently. You must understand your personality style, and, if
it’s different from the other person, you must adapt your style of
negotiating to theirs.

The different styles mean that in a negotiation, different people have
different goals, relationships, styles, faults, and different methods of
getting what they want.

Winning is a perception, and by constantly servicing the perception that
the other person is winning you can convince him that he has won
without having to make any concessions to him.

Don’t narrow the negotiation down to just one issue.

Don’t assume that helping the other person get what he wants takes
away from your position. You’re not out for the same thing. Poor
negotiators try to force the other person to get off the positions that
they’ve taken. Power negotiators know that even when positions are
180 degrees apart the interests of both sides can be identical, so they
work to get people off their positions and concentrating on their
interests.

Don’t be greedy. Don’t try to get the last dollar off the table.
Put something back on the table. Do more than they bargained for.

Roger Dawson

Founder of the Power Negotiating Institute

800-932-9766

RogDawson@aol.com

http://www.rdawson.com

“My dear little Miss…As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affectation if I were to begin it now?” -Abraham Lincoln in a letter to Grace Bedell

Clean shaven presidential candidate Lincoln wrote this letter in response to 11 year old Grace Bedell’s suggestion that he grow a beard. Though prohibited by both age and gender from voting, Grace was none-the-less an ardent Lincoln supporter. Grace’s father and “part” of her four brothers were already on the Lincoln band wagon, but Grace thought they could do better. She wrote the candidate explaining, “…if you let your whiskers grow I will try and get the rest of them to vote for you. You would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President.” By modern standards Grace was a one-girl focus group.

That Lincoln took time to kindly respond to the concerns of a young girl just weeks before the election says something about both the age and the man. (It also says something about the U.S. Postal Service that a letter written in rural New York on October 15th was being responded to from rural Illinois on October 19th!) But it didn’t end there. When Lincoln passed through Grace’s home town on the way to his inauguration four months later, he called her to the platform, gave her a kiss and pointed out that he’d taken her advice. After 50 beardless years, Abraham Lincoln had sprouted a full set of whiskers on the recommendation of a very unlikely source. And that’s what’s really remarkable about this story.

You see, Lincoln did something most of us struggle withhe tried something new. He was initially reluctant because he thought people might think he was putting on airs or perhaps he feared they would think him foolish. Neither impression would be a good thing just prior to an election. Yet within a few weeks of receiving Grace Bedell’s letter, he retired his razor. He took a risk, did something different and it worked. The bearded Lincoln is an iconic image. The beard provides him with a gravitas that seems to frame his personality and capture his spirit. In fact, it’s hard to imagine how he succeeded so long without it!

But there’s something more significant going on here as well. Lincoln’s decision to grow a beard indicates a willingness to take advice from unusual sources. We all know people whose advice and counsel we value when making decisions. Often we value these sources because they tend to confirm what we already believethey reflect our common knowledge about life and the world. If someone new offers another perspective or frames an issue differently, we tend to dismiss it. Yet positive change and breakthrough thinking comes from the fringes of our experience. Personal and professional growth come when we accept and try out ideas that are discordant with our usual way of thinking. This doesn’t mean you should try every harebrained scheme and act on every crackpot notion you encounter. But if the source is credible, don’t discount the idea just because it’s different. The hallmark of a truly great leader is the willingness to consider and act on something radically new. So give it a shotyou might end up with your own version of Lincoln’s beard!

About the Author:

George Ebert is the President of Trinity River Seminars and Consulting, a firm specializing in the custom design and delivery of team building, personal growth and ethical development programs. Mr. Ebert is a highly sought after speaker, educator, and consultant with over thirty years experience in both the public and private sectors. He has presented widely throughout the Unites States. George is the author of the management cult classic, “Climbing From the Fifth Station: A guide to building teams that work!”

Time and attendance systems are designed to assist organizations to effectively manage the working hours of employees. They are a paperless system used to collect the work time of employees electronically. The systems automate and simplify timekeeping and human resource management. Time and attendance systems effectively interact with any payroll system. The system allows employees to electronically submit leave letters. They are capable of operating on various platforms for different business rules. They are used in areas such as healthcare, financial services, transportation or distribution, retail management, government, manufacturing, and hospitality.

Early on, time and attendance systems were only associated with the manufacturing or ‘blue collar’ workforce. But today, due to the impact of legislation and the influence of technology, they are used for a variety of business functions including access control, job pricing, project tracking, and employee schedules. Most systems are Web-enabled and are integrated with current Internet technology. The cost of installing a time and attendance system depends on the number of staff involved and the equipment and type of software used.

Time and attendance systems often have a Web version of the employee module, which allows workers to enter their time using a Web browser. Its flexible design runs on both PCs under Windows and UNIX workstations. Most systems are compatible with over 20 databases including Ingres, Sybase, and Oracle, and run on all major network environments, thus, providing instant access to all time and attendance functions. Time and attendance systems help companies to reduce and control costs by permitting employees to access non-critical information in a simple, secure, and safe manner.

Benefits of time and attendance systems including a reduction in error rates, and reducing unnecessary data entry. They are used for varied work schedules, hour codes, and cost structures. The systems reduce potential mistakes automatically by transferring information between company systems.

“By asking for the impossible, we obtain the best possible.” ~ Italian saying

If you are serious about achieving a more meaningful life then you’ll need a new perspective for viewing your life and your career. The following exercise is a new method for going through your day and your week. It’s a new sense of being alive being responsible, being at choice, and being the architect in your life.

Tomorrow, you’ll be totally conscious about everything you do, see, say, feel, smell, taste, and who you are being. Use your notebook, journal or computer file to capture notes, thoughts, and insights.

Exercise: A Totally Conscious Day

Notice everything! Write down your observations using 1-2 words or several sentences. There is no wrong or right way to do it.

As soon as you wake up, notice the first thoughts that enter your mind. Write them down. Go into the bathroom. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Really look! Smile. Spend a minute looking into your eyes. Smile goodbye. Write down feelings or thoughts you experienced.

As you get ready for work, notice everything the rhythm of brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, the motion your arm makes as you stroke on your makeup, etc. Write down any thoughts or describe any pictures that come to mind.

On your way to work, notice your surroundings. What are the buildings like? What does your route to work smell like? Can you smell the restaurants, factories, etc? Do you smell trees in bloom? As you get closer to work, what sensations do you notice in your body? Write down every observation.

When the day is over, spend a few quiet minutes in bed reading your notes. Do you remember things you didn’t capture before? Write them down in a different color pen than your notes from earlier in the day. Finally, spend five minutes writing your impressions of what you captured and what you experienced being totally conscious.

This exercise provides a lot of perspective and insight, but you have to actually DO it not just read the directions and say, “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll try it later.” It’s really important to “get clear.”

This first step is critical to your success. If you make the decision to become conscious to become completely aware of what is really going on you become aware of what it is that you really want. We often become excited after participating in a workshop, attending a seminar or reading a book. We think, “Oh, this is it. This is the thing that’s going to change my life.” However, we don’t make the decision to start, to take action. Or we may think that by simply reading a book, it will somehow magically change our lives: “The information is going to float over me and my life is going to be different.”

When the pebble in our shoe bugs us enough, we pick up a book or attend a seminar. We briefly take off our shoe. We enjoy the comfort of the idea of not traveling with the pebble in our shoe anymore.

When the seminar or book is finished, we put our shoe back on over the pebble. Then we start our journey again. We feel a little lighter and more enthusiastic, because of encountering new material. So the pebble is barely noticeable. However, we never made a decision a conscious choice to remove the pebble or get shoes that keep the pebble from falling back in again.

We never really get started.

Whether you know what you want to do or no longer want that quiet, nag pebble in your shoe the realization that you need to make a change and take action is a great place to be. When you make the decision to move forward, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Today, you are finally awake.

This excerpt from The Soul of Success: 7 Steps To Monetary And Spiritual Wealth For A Rich Meaningful Life is reprinted with permission from Essence Press. Learn more at http://www.in-spiros.com/bookstore.shtml

About The Author

©BZ Riger-Hull. www.in-spiros.com For valuable free articles, assessments, & practical success tools mailto:A1@smartautoresponder.com Certified as a Success Coach, “Four Agreements” Facilitator, & Tele-Course leader We help you communicate powerfully, reduce stress, Strategically Attract success, & increase your financial well-being.

bz@in-spiros.com

When driving, we need to check our rear-view mirror every few minutes to perceive dangers lurking behind tailgaters, hecklers, over speeding cars, and drivers under the influence. Aside from anticipating threats, it helps us contemplate our next move, giving us enough time to be cautious before overtaking or stopping or . . . slowing down.

So for safety reasons, the rear-view mirror is essential when driving. In life, do we need to review the past to safely navigate the present and future and their unpredictable twists and turns?

Driving the highway of life is constantly accompanied by unforeseeable events. A reliable guide to the present and future is our previous experiences. A good handling of the past can enlighten us well today.

I know a woman who can’t seem to learn from her past. At a young age, she has had recurring unfortunate relationships living in with men who have bad habits and vices. Abusive and exploitative, these men left her when she became inconvenient. Each time, she was left with children to take care of, with more physical injury, financial burden, and emotional hurts to endure. One man even sold her soul by forcing her to prostitution.

So far, she hasn’t reviewed her past and her life. In a few weeks or months, she will meet the same type of men abusers and users.

Life’s patterns and perspective, whether productive or not, deserve a second look to determine their usefulness. Past mistakes likewise deserve a review so we can learn from them. An analysis of the past helps us see our strength in coping with challenges, losses, and defeats. In a significant way, a life review teaches valuable lessons better than a classroom.

Some people however are somehow stuck in the past in a harmful way. They constantly review past mistakes, losses, and problems without analyzing and realizing what they have learned and how they can avoid them in the future. They become preoccupied at the expense of their emotional health. Unable to live fully in the present, they overwhelm themselves with guilt, blame, and “what ifs” rumination. They focus on the hurts, tragedies, and disappointments.

As a result, they need a psychiatrist to help taper their turbulent emotions. Instead of learning from the past, they unlearned anything.

I know an elderly man who becomes obsessed with the past. He blamed his parents for his inability to finish school, blamed his friends for his low grades, his wife for his bad occupation, and his co-workers for his misfortunes. When I saw him, he was a bitter man and full of rage. He later became very depressed.

On further evaluation, I realized that this elderly man could have done something differently if he bothered to review his past. He could have corrected his unproductive patterns and ways early. Almost close to his death bed, it’s now too late.

How can you benefit from the past?

Review your life every few weeks or months. Some people even benefit from a daily review.

Check for patterns, habits, attitudes, behavior, and mindset that are counterproductive.

Correct those unproductive ways of living your life. Do you need to change your life’s perspective? Please do so and do it quick.

Learn from these reviews. These lessons can’t be acquired through expensive formal education.

Who needs a rear-view mirror? All of us! Only those who don’t want positive change will do otherwise. Remember, living a life is more important than driving.

Life is the product of actions and reactions interwoven in our daily existence. Life therefore requires a meticulous review of the past.

About The Author

Copyright 2003 Michael G. Rayel, MD. Dr. Rayel, author of First Aid to Mental Illness (Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice Award 2002), has pioneered the CARE approach as a first aid for mental health. As an expert and an award-winning author, Dr. Rayel has appeared on radio and prominent newspapers. As a first aid advocate, he has conducted Mental Health First Aid workshops. To learn more about his work and books, visit www.drrayel.com.

mike@drrayel.com

I once took a counseling class in college that opened my eyes to something very profound. I was required to write down all of my beliefs. Every belief I had. Then I was to write down why I believed in my belief. What happened? Where was I? How did it come about?

This exercise really helped me understand not only myself, but also to understand where my beliefs came from.

I remember going camping with my friend Jason when we were in junior high. This was my friend’s family annual week long summer camping trip and I was invited to come along.

One night while sitting close to the fire pit, some friends of Jason’s family stopped by. Their friends were staying at a camp near by. Not long after their friend’s arrived I came to meet a man who would later teach me something that I came to highly believe in.

After roasting some marsh mellows over the hot fire, Jason’s father started talking about how important it is to always give a good hand shake. Now at this time in my life, as a young Jr. High student, I never heard about giving a good hand shake. I don’t recall having to shake many hands at that time.

After Jason got it down, they started to show me how to give a good hand shake. Give it there, kid, yelled Jason’s dad. No, like this, as he slightly twisted my hand. There, now give it a good squeeze. You got it, said Jason’s dad, as I began to smile. As the night went on, I felt as though I learned something very important. I believe I did. That night I learned the importance of always giving a good hand shake. From that day forward I believed it was important to always give a good hand shake.

Now this exercise was not to get the students to change their beliefs, but to know that each student “choose” to believe in their beliefs, and that they could change them. In addition, to realize that each of us take on curtain beliefs without even noticing it. After completing this exercise, most, if not all students, came to realize they had beliefs they were not aware of, and beliefs that were hindering themselves in some way.

Now it is very important to know your own beliefs. The reason it is important to know your beliefs is because what ever your belief is will become your reality. If you believe it is hard to make money, then you will find yourself with no money and hard to get it.

It is like buying a new car. Before you purchased your new car you never saw it on the road, but then after you bought your new car you saw one everywhere you went. What you focus on, you attract, what you believe and focus on you will receive in your life in some form or another, the Law of Attraction is at work all the time.

If someone “believes” that all the opportunities have passed them by, they will continue to see opportunities pass them by, and never see the opportunities that are in front of them. Read the book “Acres of Diamonds”, and you will see what I mean.

Take some time to write down your beliefs. Do the exercise, and then ask yourself if your belief is helping you, or hindering you in some way.

By taking the time to do this exercise now, you will keep from limiting yourself from your full potential. By discovering any limiting beliefs, and changing them by first recognizing them, you will empower yourself to new heights.

Anthony Treas is a Latino Motivational Speaker, Educator, Trainer and Author. Anthony has had my successes in his life and has guided positive personal changes in many young people lives. Visit http://www.latinomotivationalspeaker.com.